On the Passing of Teachers (2022)

“It is possible that the next Buddha will not take the form of an individual. The next Buddha may take the form of a community-a community practicing understanding and loving kindness, a community practicing mindful living. This may be the most important thing we can do for the survival of the earth” .

~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Thich Nhat Hanh has passed away at the age of 95. He’s been in poor health for many many years and this is no surprise. But it’s still incredibly sad.

He was an amazing Buddhist teacher and a big inspiration to me. Two of my teachers died in 2021, Lama Chuck Stanford and Zen Master Wonji Dharma. Both of those deaths hit me hard. And now at the beginning of 2022 Thich Nhat Hanh has passed away. Three deaths in rapid succession. The world is changing. All things are impermanent.

I’m reminded a little of when my parents died, over 20 years ago now. 3 years apart and both from different cancers. This isn’t the same as losing a parent (or two), not even close. But it’s still…. something.

I never met him and I’ve never practiced in his community, but Thich Nhat Hanh has been a big inspiration to me. The first book I read on the subject of meditation was “The Miracle of Mindfulness” way back in 2000. And his book “The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching” is still, in my opinion, the best introduction to Buddhism that there is.

He was one of the most well known Buddhist teachers in the world. He was born in Vietnam and he became a monk as a teenager, in the 1940s.

In 1966, he became a Zen Master.

He traveled the world as a peace activist throughout the 1960s, and in 1967, his friend, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., nominated him for a Nobel Peace Prize saying, “I do not personally know of anyone more worthy of [this prize] than this gentle monk from Vietnam. His ideas for peace, if applied, would build a monument to ecumenism, to world brotherhood, to humanity.” He wasn’t given the award—it wasn’t given to anyone that year.

He was denied permission to return to his home country in the 1970s, so he moved to France.

He founded an organization called “The Order of Interbeing,” and spent his life spreading Buddhist teachings and advocating for a peaceful world.

There’s a story that gets told about the death of the Buddha. It’s said that his cousin Ananda was at his side and had time to ask two final questions.

Ananda asked, “Do we have to follow all the rules that you set out?”
And the Buddha replied, “Just follow the important ones. Don’t worry much about the minor ones.”

(Ananda forgot to ask which rules were the minor ones)

Then Ananda asked, “Who is going to lead us when you’re gone?”

And the Buddha said, “Be lamps unto yourselves.”

It was up to his followers to figure out how to go on. And when our teachers pass it’s up to us to figure out how to go on too. We can get through losses like this. And we will go on.

I think he was aware of just how much people put him on a pedestal. He was almost worshiped. The fact that there even are celebrity Buddhist teachers is a strange thing. Sometimes it feels like a bit much and I wonder if it felt like a bit much to him.

He wrote over 100 books and he taught many many students. There is little doubt that he had a large impact on modern Buddhism.

Thich Nhat Hanh stated that the way forward is to strengthen our bonds of community. We need each other just as much as we need teachers, maybe more. I believe he would like that to be part of his legacy, although of course I don’t claim to speak for him.

Teachers arise and pass away. It’s up to communities to (hopefully) carry on.

Don’t be sad he’s gone. Be happy he was here. We’re all better off because this great teacher existed.

Suhita Dharma, Thich Nhat Hanh, and Karuna Dharma.
All three deceased now. Suhita Dharma was one of the teachers of Wonji Dharma (who was one of my teachers) who passed recently as well.

The Things We Carry

I think we’re all carrying weight based on our life experiences.

I carry some weight around the subject of death.

Back when I was in college in my early 20s it was unusual that my parents aren’t around. Now I’m in my 40s and it’s much less unusual. Lots of people my age don’t have parents anymore. Some people say college was the best part of their lives. I was grieving the whole time. It wasn’t the best part of my life. Now is.

My father died at the age of 56 and my mother died at the age of 58. I was born when they were in their 40s, so they’ve been gone since I was a teenager. Sometimes I call myself an orphan and that’s not really accurate because I was 19 when I was on my own. Technically I was an adult, but if you’ve ever met a 19 year old you probably know we should be saying “adult”.

And, at that time, I knew it was a tragedy when dad got cancer and died and three years later mom got cancer and died. Of course it was a tragedy. They left behind me. But I didn’t realize the simple fact that they were so young. My parents had gray hair and were older than any of the other parents that were around with kids my age, so I didn’t have that awareness that 56 and 58 are YOUNG.

In total honesty, I didn’t get a vasectomy because I was certain I didn’t want any more kids. I got a vasectomy because I knew I really didn’t want to have any in my 40s…just in case.

Now, what I want to say is: these cancers were not the scary hereditary kinds. At least that’s what my doctor tells me. So at least there’s that. And my rational mind is fully aware of that. But, you know what?

There’s that other part of my mind that isn’t rational. So the baggage of “i could get sick and die” is still with me and probably always will be. I don’t need to carry that baggage, I don’t need to think about that.

But at the same time, does it help me appreciate life? Maybe. It definitely helps me appreciate time with my kids. And it helps me want to create value in this world. I want to do good things because tomorrow is not promised. Life is impermanent and the truth is we should all remember that.

Anyone can die at any time. So don’t waste your life. Love more, share more, be kinder. And bring all your energy and focus to the things that matter.

Tomorrow isn’t promised to any of us.