You’re a Zen Buddhist, Right?

I went to a study group that’s reading “Way of the Bodhisattva”.

It’s one of my favorite texts. I feel like Shantideva is one of the greatest Buddhist teachers of all time. We studied the chapter on Patience and then we studied the chapter on Diligence. It’s been such a wonderful opportunity. The group is called Younge Drodul Ling-Kansas City and they’re part of a bigger community. It’s called a “Rime Practice Lineage.” I think some people call this group Dzogchen Buddhism or Vajrayana Buddhism. It’s been a great experience studying this text with this group.

Someone at this group said to me, “You’re a Zen Buddhist, right?”

I was a Zen Buddhist. I don’t know what I am anymore.

I became a Zen Buddhist and even did some training as a monk. I realized I didn’t want to be a monk but I kept studying and practicing Zen for a long time. I resisted anything else even though I was practicing with a Tibetan Buddhist community called the Rime Center.

The truth is that I don’t sit facing a wall anymore. I sit facing a Buddha statue in my living room. And I’m studying all the Bodhisattva teachings instead of the Zen teachings. The Bodhisattva teachings are what have carried me. And I’m doing a liturgy in front of my statue in the living room every day.

The truth is I was telling myself that Zen is more secular than it is anyway. I’m not the only one. Buddhism is a religion (sorry) and I’d argue meditation is a spiritual practice too. I think plenty of people don’t like hearing that but I think I want to be honest about such things. I’ll always probably have a soft spot for some of those Zen teachings though.

I set up a statue garden in my backyard that I call “The Garden of Virtue” I read a text that said Buddhas and Bodhisattvas dwell in sacred spaces like that. I’m starting to wonder if that’s true. I’ve never been someone to believe in such things. What I know is that the thing that’s been growing in my statue garden is me.

I’m not a Zen Buddhist. I follow the Bodhisattva Path. And that could be enough.

Maybe I’ll become Dzogchen Buddhist. I’ve had some empowerments (other things I used to not believe in) and maybe I won’t.

But also maybe names don’t mean anything anyway. I don’t know what kind of Buddhist I am and I don’t need to know.